Adventure Story | Episode 7: Lothki's Dilemma
Meet Lothki, a trickster suffering from an existential crisis
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Character List:
Bigheart: Young and handsome, he is about to discover that his compulsion for Doing The Right Thing is in direct contradiction to his core belief I Am Not A Hero. Spoiler alert: he’s the hero.
Gravedeath: He used to be a nice guy until power predictably corrupted him and turned him into a murderous psychopath. He will stop at nothing to obtain the Very Powerful Object which will make him — you guessed it — unstoppable.
Michael and Nichael: Identical twins with witty tongues and an uncanny talent for providing comedic relief right when the audience might be in in danger of losing interest.
Lilly: She’s here for her clever quips — and to make Bigheart sexually frustrated
Blizzard the Wizard: He’s only as powerful as you believe him to be. So not very powerful.
Lothki: A devious trickster in the middle of an existential crisis about his job. No matter what he says, he always seems to send travelers down the ol’ sudden death route.
EPISODE 7
FADE IN
EXT. THE DEEP, DARK WOODS.
BLIZZARD
…And THAT is how I banished a pack of rabid warthogs by tricking them into THINKING I had the power to banish them.
LILLY
Please, no more stories for today. You’re giving me a headache.
BLIZZARD
I get those sometimes too. I suspect it’s because my brain is so large it presses against the confines of my skull.
BIGHEART
That could also be encephalitis.
BLIZZARD
My brain is not inflated, BIGHEART. It’s just my intellect which is so sizable it yearns to roam free amongst the stars.
LILLY
Your brain might not be inflated, but I know something else that definitely is.
BLIZZARD?
I love riddles. Is it BIGHEART’S elbow?
LILLY
Never mind.
BIGHEART
I think I see someone up head, right where the path forks. Hopefully nothing will happen to make our next choice difficult.
LOTHKI
Greetings, travelers. Despite my shrewd black eyes and hooked nose, I am actually a helpful and benevolent guide here to help you on your quest.
BLIZZARD
A helpful and benevolent guide, excellent. Which path do we take, Lothki?
LOTHKI
Left. No wait, right.
LILLY
Our right or your right?
LOTHKI
My right. I mean your left. Argh, I messed it up. I’m so bad with directions.
BIGHEART
For someone whose job is to stand at a fork in the road and point the way, you seem awfully unqualified.
LOTHKI
Sorry, it’s just that I’ve been having a bit of a moral crisis about the whole leading-strangers-to-their-death thing.
BLIZZARD
Wait, you were trying to trick us? You rat!
LILLY
Of course he’s trying to trick us, BLIZZARD, just look at his face.
LOTHKI
It’s true, when they hired me they said with a face like this, I was practically born for the role.
BIGHEART
Wait, so are you actually having a moral crisis or is that part of the trap?
LOTHKI
No, it’s not part of the trap. Usually I just say to go left, which leads to the Swamp of Slow Suffocation. But lately I’ve just been thinking…what’s the point?
BIGHEART
The point of what? Leading people to their deaths?
LOTHKI
See, you understand me! I mean, I always thought I was born to be a devious trickster, but lately I’ve just been feeling kind of unfulfilled. I’ve even been toying with the idea of telling people to go right! That’s crazy, I know.
BIGHEART
And where does right lead to?
LOTHKI
The way out, of course.
LILLY
I don’t trust this guy.
BLIZZARD
Me neither. BIGHEART, ask him which way he would tell us to go if he weren’t trying to not trick us into making an incorrect decision. Then we’ll go the opposite way.
BIGHEART
BLIZZARD, I need like four extra brains to decipher what you just said. Maybe he’s telling the truth. LOTHKI, have you EVER told someone to go right before?
LOTHKI
No, I can’t seem to work up the courage. But it would be so exciting. Intoxicating, even. Doing the right thing…just imagine!
BIGHEART
What a concept, huh? So we should just go right and it will lead us out of the woods?
LOTHKI
That’s right! No pun intended, tee-hee.
LILLY
When you laugh like that and make that face it makes me think you’re still trying to trick us.
LOTHKI
I’m not trying to trick you. This is just me nervous laugh. Tee-hee.
BIGHEART
Stop that.
LOTHKI
Please go right. I’m just trying to do some good for once. I don’t want to die having never not sent someone to their death.
BIGHEART
Nice try, LOTHKI. We’re going left.
LILLY
Better luck next time, you scumbag.
BLIZZARD
And let this be a lesson to you, never to try to fool a powerful wizard. Or one that you believe to be powerful.
THE GROUP CONFIDENTLY TAKES THE LEFT PATH.
BLIZZARD
And that, my friends, is why you should never trust a trickster, even when he’s trying to trick you into trusting him.
LILLY
That was the shittiest trickster I’ve ever met. I can’t wait to feel sunlight on my face again.
BIGHEART
I’m no hero, but sometimes it really feels like it.
MICHAEL
Guys? I feel like I’m sinking.
NICHAEL
I don’t remember my foot going down to the ankle with each step before.
LILLY
He was telling the TRUTH?!
BIGHEART
Unbelievable.
BLIZZARD
Never trust a trickster, even when he’s trying to not trick you!
FADE OUT
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